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Sabin Stargem

102
Posts
7
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1
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A member registered Feb 22, 2016

Recent community posts

You could make access to the base portable, by requiring the use of a portal stone or the like.  The portal could take something like an hour to safely unfold, and critters can just walk through it to reach the homestead.  That would prevent it from being an get-out-of-jail card, but make the base accessible most of the time.  Narrative tools, like anti-magic zones, imprisonment, damage to the portstone, or a particularly sullen companion arc can also be used to cut off access if required.

I think it is the inconsistency between the rooms and the interface behavior that tripped me up.  If you drop a girl into the work rooms, the option to choose between relaxation or rest appears.  Drop that girl into the lobby, and there are no choices unless you right-click.  Underlining or bolding the text about right-clicking in the tutorial might help.

v.0.5.2 thoughts:  

On the first day, the player is given an expense of "layoffs", but no one has been fired nor left.

Playing on normal difficulty, there is no apparent option for lessons like the tutorial has recommended.  This is problematic, because my starter girls aren't pulling in enough cash to cover daily expenses.  The only thing I bought is the dormitory, but the girls aren't in good enough shape to do enough work.  The current difficulty curve isn't very good, as I am being bled dry with no apparent path forward.

I am tempted to think that hiring more girls might alleviate the stamina/mental issue, but the sheer expenses from the starting staff is making me very risk averse.  Maybe I should get a loan and hope the girls upgrade enough to recover the cost...but I have a feeling that won't work.

Looking forward to trying out the game again when it has had more time to cook.  I remember enjoying Club Bifrost, and am hoping this game becomes a worthy member of the brothel genre.

I put together a bunch of texts that I feel are more correct than what is in the game.  "A" texts are what is already present, while "B" is the proposed alternatives.  "C" is notes on my reasoning, wherever I feel appropriate.

The version played is v0.2.

#1A:  Raymond - "My father called me yesterday and he need an urgent request."

#1B:  Raymond - "My father called me yesterday, he had an urgent request."

#1C:  The addition of an "," helps the sentence flow more naturally.  

In the context of this sentence "he need an urgent request" doesn't make sense in English.  This is because it implies that the father is creating a situation, rather than wanting one to be resolved.


#2A:  Raymond - "A cheap weaponry...it mays sound impossible, but..."

#2B:  Raymond - "Cheap weapons.  It may sound impossible, but..."

#2C:  While "weaponry" is technically correct, it doesn't naturally fit in this context.  The "..." was replaced by a "." because the overuse of an "..." can feel weird, and a single period here makes Raymond sound more experienced in his field.   "Mays" is definately wrong, with the only correct usage in English being as a name - typically a last one.   EG, "Billy Mays".


#3A: Raymond - "Yeah, also gather some information about the crystals in the city."

#3B: Raymond - "Yeah, also while gathering information about crystals in the city."

#3C:  The sentence doesn't flow quite right.  While technically correct, the context with prior text boxes makes it feel unnatural.


#4A: Raymond - "I'll send you the blueprints when I arrive in the city"

#4B: Raymond - "I'll send you the blueprints when I arrive in the city."


#5A: Raymond - So I, as his son and as a weapon tinkerer, travel from Cosnela to Viellci Dc."

#5B: Raymond - So I, as his son and weapon tinkerer, traveled from Cosnela to Viellci Dc."

#5C:  By removing the "as a", the sentence feels less repetitive.  That part is actually fine, but I felt that I should mention the alternative wording.   "traveled" is more natural for this sentence, due to being past tense.  "travel" implies present or future tense.


#6A: Raymond - "Father had his hopes on me, having to accomplish it all in a month."

#6B: Raymond - "Father pinned his hopes on me, to accomplish it all in a month."

#6C:  "had his hopes on me" is not a wording used in English.  Thus, I replaced it with something that conveys a similar idea but recognized in English.  "having to accomplish it all in a month" is technically correct, but the context makes it less natural than the rewritten version.


#7A: Raymond - "For if were to fail, my father's hand would be forced, having to manufacture weapons of inferior quality."

#7B: Raymond - "If I were to fail, my father would be forced to manufacture weapons of inferior quality.

#7C:  "For if were to fail" is incorrect.  It doesn't convey as much information as it could, and trying to speak it as-is would be awkward.  When in doubt about text, speak it out loud and see if rolls off the tongue naturally.  "My father's hand would be forced"  Is technically correct and a wording often used in English.  The issue is that what comes afterwards didn't flow naturally.  I recommend using this wording elsewhere in the game, as it is a good one.


#8A: Raymond - "I would be exiled from the city for shattering his hopes but most importantly, wasting his time.

#8B: Raymond - "I would be exiled from the city for shattering his hopes, but more importantly, wasting his time.

#8C:  Without the extra comma, the sentence is hard to say in real life and more difficult to read.  "most importantly" while technically and contextually correct, is not often used in English.  "more importantly" is a much more common way of conveying the idea.  Both wordings are valid!


#9A: Raymond - "It was my father recommendation and it was his old apartment."

#9B: Raymond - "It was my father's recommendation and it was his old apartment."


#10A: Raymond - "After an exhausting day of weapon designing."

#10B: Raymond - "After an exhausting day of weapon designing, I've decided to use an alternative core for the weapon."

10C:  Technically correct, but didn't feel quite right.  By integrating both sentences together, the sudden stop from "weapon designing." is removed.  


11A:  Raymond - "A few days ago, we found some unique ones.  We took it, and researched it until now."

11B:  Raymond - "A few days ago, we found some unique ones.  We took them, and researched until now."

11B:  Raymond - "A few days ago, we found some unique ones.  We took one, and researched it until now."

11C:  By using "it", you imply a single crystal, while "ones" is plural.  I put together two revised texts, one for a plurality of crystals - and the other singular.  I think the plural text is better, but I don't know the full story.


12:  Raymond - "As I was walking home, having a discussion about the crystals with my friend."

12:  Raymond - "As I was walking home, having a discussion about the crystals with my friend..."

12C:  The sentence is correct, it just feels awkward because the period is a hard-stop.  By having the trailing "...", it is implied something grabbed Raymond's attention.


13A:  Girl - "All I know is ... I've been in a street ever since."

13B:  Girl - "All I know...I've always lived on the street."

13C:  The formatting of " ... " is a bit odd, so I altered it slightly.  The latter half of the sentence is confusing, in a way that I believe to be unintentional.


14A:  Girl - "Why bother ask those questions."

14B:  Girl - "Why bother, asking those questions?"

14B:  Girl - "Why bother asking those questions."

14C:  The original form felt awkward.  I recommend the revision with the "?", but the version with "." may be suitable if she is making a statement.


15A: Raymond - "They kidnap almost every outcast in every dome city."

15B: Raymond - "They kidnap outcasts in all dome cities."

15C:  Using "every" twice feels very repetitive and makes the sentence harder to parse.


16A: Tutorial - "Day represents the amount of day you've spent with Millie."

16B: Tutorial - "Day represents the amount of time you've spent with Millie."

16B: Tutorial - "Day represents the number of days you've spent with Millie."

16C:  Using "day" twice doesn't feel good.  In addition to this, the latter "day" lacks plurality.  When more than one day is spent with someone, "days" is more appropriate.


Aside from text, I have a bit of confusion regarding the SFW mode:  is it "on" or "off"?   Having text that says "SFW mode is ON/OFF", with the appropriate word being hi-lighted would make the toggle more understandable.

(5 edits)


Righto, below is a general idea of what I got in mind.  Hopefully the walls of fortified text aren't too overbearing.

(Viewing the image in its own tab might be a good idea, for visual clarity)


Going from what I consider least controversial or difficult, and working towards the biggest pains in the backside...



1 - The face icons for the allied characters can have a function.  The idea is that by clicking on a allied face, the player adjusts the level of Threat the party exudes.  In this picture, Samantha has 40% Threat, in what I call "Introvert Mode".  Ashley is drawing aggro, through "Extrovert" mode at 60%.   Clicking on either portrait would shift around the threat level - "Neutral Mode" splits things evenly between these two.  Assuming that in-battle party sizes don't change, this should be relatively easy to implement and be accessible for players.  Each portrait has a colored border to indicate their threat mode, along with some text in the picture to precisely display the threat level.  Some enemies might dole out particular aggro states onto characters, so that text will be important for that.




2 - In the center, we have a row of faces.  They are used for tracking the speed of characters during the turn - the person most left is fastest, those towards the right are slower.  The arrows and chevrons indicate to whom a character's actions are directed.  Ashley's green arrow means that she is supporting Samantha in some fashion.  Kuril is directly attacking Samantha, and Sam herself is using an area ability on the party.  Kandros is directly supporting Kuril, but his ability is also causing harm to the party.  I think this overall concept would be useful for organizing battles.




3 - On the left is the Skill Tray.  The icons most to the left indicate the most basic ability of each action category, and each column represents an element.  Neutral, Wind, Fire, Water, Earth, Aether, Nether, and Abyss (not present yet).    Each row represents a range of abilities that have a specialty or cost.  For example, the Focused and Group melee options might have a cooldown system attached and minimal MP cost. 

I do not know how many abilities you want the player to have, but I do have a philosophy on the matter:   Too many not only clutters a potential interface, but also makes it harder to design battles - you wouldn't know what sort of action a player might wish to pursue.  With the action categories of "Focused Melee", "Group Melee", "Condensed Magic", "Area Magic", "Defensive", and "Eromancy" in this tray, there is at least 64 actions.   A GUI is a canvas for game designers, and like with a painting, it is possible to lose focus if you cram too much stuff. 

Players won't easily understand how to play the game effectively if you have too many options, so it can be a potential lose-lose for both designer and player.



4 - Utilities.  We are moving into gameplay ideas.   The concept here is that the MC has a "utility belt", where he keeps potions, wands, runestones, grenades, ect.  Unlike abilities powered by mana or waiting for a cooldown, these items cannot be normally restocked during battles and adventures, except at rest points.  This should help make the concept of utility items a powerful thing, and also gives Aspasia a specialty during conflict - she might have the ability to resupply the player in a pinch. 


5 - Attunement.  Honestly, I do not like the current purpose of Attunement in the game - it is a cap on learning stuff, which doesn't excite me.  I think it would be cooler as a mechanic during battles.   The idea being, the player can enter a state where they are effectively an elemental Super Saiyan, kinda like the Avatar from Last Airbender.



6 - Focus.  This is a resource pool that powers events and what I call "escalation".  The first, is to spend points to activate encounter or companion events during the battle.  Say, for example, Aspasia generating a item, to counter a goblin mage's fireball spell, or maybe lure enemies off the field for a bit.  Basically stuff that is specific to encounters or friends, that other mechanics are not built for.

Escalation is basically the player activating the masteries of an action, and each activation earns points towards upgrading the masteries the move can unleash.  While attuned and using a move of the same element, the masteries are further enhanced.

When it comes to gathering Focus, I am thinking defensive actions can generate these points.  By not being hurt, the MC is gathering their thoughts and momentum to make a play of some kind.  Be it a finishing move or buying time for a friend, you need to not be on the backfoot.  Aside from that, the numbers on the far-right on the Skill Tray represents independent focus points that an action category has gathered.  This gives a player a general focus pool, then specialized focus pools to help encourage move diversity.



7 - Lust.  I am thinking that Lust could affect  moves.  For example, Kuril's "Jaws" action in the mockup could become "Hump" if he gets too amorous.  While this may be a bit uncomfortable for Metatron, being dry-humped by a giant shark is probably preferable to being introduced to his maw.    Kandro's "Healing Rain" turning into a "Milky Rain" would undoubtedly be very helpful for our succubi companions.  Of course, turnabout is fair play...

Speaking of UI, should I put up the mockup soon, or wait until you switch into gameplay mode after your writing brainstorm has passed? 

I don't know if you are the type who focuses on one thing at a time, or prefer allowing things to simmer at the back of your mind.  It is my preference to not interfere with your writing, which elevates DD.

Topic idea regarding Metatron:  do angels eat?  I am guessing that fancy core of hers can normally sustain her, but the damage to it might force her to try out this strange stuff called "stew".

That is perfectly fine - I find that most (good) games take at least two years to cook, and that is assuming if you had a paid team.  Divine Dawn is probably more a passion project than a commercial one, especially since this seems to be your first project beyond modding.    This game is a sort of crossroads for you as a creator, since many questions would have to be answered.   "How much time and money do I want to spend like this?", "Would writing a book be better than coding a game?", "What kinds of game mechanics interest me?", and so on.

Anyhow.   IIRC, a big part of game development is not just making things, but destroying them.  About 80% of the development time apparently goes into systems and assets, while the other 20% is the actual content.  Mechanics being what they are, essentially are living creatures that have to be born, bred, and replaced by a better generation that gels more naturally with what you intend.   On the plus side, the lessons learned will likely translate to future projects in a cleaner form.  Kinda like how to make a readable novel, you have to abandon stuff to focus on what you learn to be important.

Most of the ideas that I put forward are going to need surgery if they are going to live.  Hoping for the best, but expecting a terminal outcome.

Question for Cryswar:  I have been putting together a mock-up of what I think could be a GUI for DD's combat screen.  Would you be interested in a terrible depiction?

If yes, there is something further to consider.  I have the habit of playing games, and thinking to myself "the controls could be better, and the gameplay..." well, you can guess.  Aside from a rainbow nightmare, I can also propose my thoughts on revised gameplay.  Problem is, I am not sure if they are any good, and whether a proposal to rework your ruleset would be irritating - you already spent a ton of time trying to figure out stuff.

Feel free to say no.   Ultimately, my what-ifs are for my personal amusement, and the odds of actually being useful are long at best.

I guess you can try out a Digital Audio Workstation (DAW), and see if you can punch out a score or dozen?  DAW-wise, I hear that Reaper is very good, and you can basically ignore the nag screen every 60 days until you feel ready to commit to buying.  That said, Reaper is intended for professional creators, so you will have a learning curve.   Cakewalk is a freeware option that isn't as powerful, but less intimidating.

Anyhow, I keep music on for VN games - they are a genre I use for immersion and empathy, so the music is important for me.  Other games, especially action, puzzle, or simulation titles, I lower the music while listening to podcasts.  Each player has unique relationships to their gameography.

I disagree about not noticing music.  It can sometimes really define a game - the OG System Shock 1 is very unique compared to most, since it has a techno track in a horror setting.  Same goes for La-Mulana, The World Ends With You, and so many others...

Assuming that you are making the music yourself, keep it up.  Every piece, be it excellent or failure, will make you a better creator.


When it comes to the tailored interjections, I appreciate that.  It certainly helps ensure that Celica, Metatron, and Samantha are distinct beings rather than meat suits that say the same thing.

Battle-fook systems are wily beasts, especially when combined with situations that call for lethal force.  Mind, I suppose that a bit of eromancy to...distract...an enemy could leave them open to a fatal blow.

Speaking of Ero-battles, you might want to check out Monster Girl Dreams on Itch.  I suspect that you and most fans of Divine Dawn would enjoy that one, what with being text-heavy and usually light-hearted.  That particular game made it law of reality that genuine harm cannot be dealt between people.  That makes sex the way to resolve conflict.

Is Lust going to have moves & mechanics for standard battles, or will battle types remain discrete from each other?  I have been wondering if Eromancy would be a thing in this setting.

(1 edit)

Wouldn't be a bad idea.  Right-clicking on a enemy could open up a detailed Beastiary with unlocked details and lore.  (bestiary is the correct spelling, but I prefer "beast".  It just makes more sense.) 

(1 edit)

A thought on that:  Maybe give the enemies an glowing aura that shrouds them, with a pattern and color that resembles the element in question.  EG:  A martial artist who specializes in Earth Bending has pebbles rotating around their image, or a Pyrolisk with a red haze.

This would also allow you to give elemental phases for enemies or multiple elements that combine patterns.  The big downside is that it would require TLC to look right for each creature, and might cost money.

The simpler route is to give enemies a dedicated "game space" for their status info, including elemental strengths or weaknesses.  In that case, maybe a tiny picture of the element with an up/down arrow + sword/shield, as appropriate to the creature characteristics.

I guess one of the mechanical questions about the whole thing is how elemental preferences work for characters.  Say, an enemy that doles out fire damage, also be vulnerable to the same?  I am thinking in this something like having a flamethrower backpack that can go kaboom.

A somewhat amusing oversight:  Siofra's portrait in some scenes only shows her bottom half - the picture is placed so high, that her torso is out of sight.

Aside from that, I have the impression her dialogue portrait might be too tall, as it clips onto the status bars.

When her portrait is low enough, something felt off to me.  Looking more closely, there is a feeling that her image is a bit...square?  I think it is because one of the flames at the top suddenly cuts off.  I tend to be a stickler for odd details like that.  Dunno if that sort of thing is worth mentioning?


Feature request:  it would be cool if characters with multiple outfits could change them each day, such as the Succubi and their civilian wear.  Bonus points if certain sentimental items are kept, such as Ashley's choker.


The read/unread icon for interactions is much appreciated.  It is a QOL feature that should be in games with repeatable conversations.  It kinda cheapens dialogue if I accidentally reread it, which sucks because I want to care for Samantha and friends.

As I understand it, there has been a revision of Renpy that was a released - adding support for Python 3.  Would updating CK to that version allow for correcting the quirk, among whatever else that plagues developers?

Anyhow, thanks for the response.  It is good to see developers address bugs and commentaries, it makes me feel like reporting issues as I find them.  Hopefully, I will (not) find issues, but will keep an eye out.

It seems like that some data is persistent, even if you load an earlier savefile or start a new game.  This comes up with Lyx's quest to read minds, with the mind-reading counter increased despite having loaded a save prior to the quest.  Exploration points also have their Remember directions retained on a fresh playthrough.

I have been noticing a trend with slimes, especially in hentai games:  They consistently have the most fatal abilities and consequences if they don't feel merciful.   Drowning, acid that can selectively destroy materials, able to grapple and vore protagonists outright, jellyfish paralysis or electrical eel capabilities in some cases.

From a human perspective, a person like Aspasia seems like Gaea's answer to the question "What if Mother Nature REALLY wanted you dead?"

When it comes to civilization at large, I suspect that slimes are also treasured craftsmen.  Selective destruction offers slimes a role in manufacturing goods - they can potentially carve wooden logs into precise shapes, or jiggle their acidic bodies to separate materials into pure concentrate.

Looking forward to Aspasia being expanded.  There are many ways for her and the world to show their interwoven depths.

(2 edits)

Thoughts on lore and Aspasia.  These things are not significant, but more a record that you have an odd player on your hands.


In Badon, I went shopping with Ashley, but the products - t-shirts and the like, stood out as anachronistic, because the setting initially seemed to be an medieval fantasy sort of thing.  It got me thinking, "how are the shirts made?"  Having no ingame answer, my speculation was thus:  they are mass-produced items, that are sewn together by golems in a Triangle-Shirtwaist sort of location...but with magical runes to imprint images onto the products.  Maybe those golems are very crude copies of Juno's angels, employing a core and magi-tek circuitry that are roughly hewn?


Second set of thoughts, regard Aspasia.  One of my initial questions after encountering her was "what are you made of, and is it deadly to organic life?"  This is because she is composed of a silvery substance.  The immediate candidates that came to mind was Mercury and Lead.  As a human, that is concerning because those materials are not known for encouraging healthy living.  Dunno if the MC is aware of hazardous materials, but that was my first worry concerning the lady.  Not that she was a predator slime or hawking wares to rando forest travelers, but that she might inadvertently be poisoning people by just being around them.


Moving on, I was very pleased with Celica's love scene.  The artist did an excellent job, the ahegao was satisfying, and the writing helped convey that Celica was starting to emerge from her shell of negativity, if only for a time.  I am looking forward to spending more time with her, be it lectures or lecherous.

(1 edit)

I am interested in the potential interplay of Sam(uel) and Celica, both verbal and licentious.   While I don't think a full Samuel route would pay off, a divergence that has Sam sticking their wick into Celica's candleholder is certainly something I like to envision.

Mind, how that can happen without Celica learning Apocalypse from pure anger and ending Samantha's world would be quite a needle to thread.

What was the intent for the male Sam experiment?  Depending on what you were thinking, the general idea could be repurposed - say, for example, Samantha being temporarily gender-bent.  It might be a chance for her to see that she was actually pretty feminine in the first place.  I have the impression that she feels a bit insecure on that front.

Anyhow, Badon should be a pretty good chance to dig into lore and how the characters relate to the world.  For example, a food stall can reveal that Maya's beastkin nose is too sensitive around certain foods, maybe a festival that celebrates in honor of felled angels, and so forth.  I am guessing that Metatron would feel a bit disturbed at (false?) remains being displayed, much like real-world saints.

Dialogue-wise, there is bit of text that probably meant to be code.  In the woods, Maya has a scene in which she is described as Dog-in-a-Box.  At the end of the paragraph, it says something like "show Maya at 20 with moveinright", or along those lines.

(1 edit)

A small thing:  some ability names are long enough, that parts of them clip into names that are below them in the progress menu.  One such example is "Flaming Greatsword".   For that particular one, I got a rename recommendation:  "Flameberge".   The flamberge is a type of real-world sword, that has a wavy, rippling blade.  That would be appropriate to a fearsome blade of fire.  And slightly punny.


Aside from that, I have an unfortunate impression for a piece of character art:  Maya.  The issue is that her doggo features don't stand out, it took me a bit to connect the dots between the writing and picture.  The other racial characters have clear aesthetics to mark their existence, but Maya's is difficult to perceive.

What should be her two defining features are the ears and tail - but the ears blend into her hair, while the tail doesn't stand out against the background we see her against.   I think that the ears are easier to improve - some white fluff on their interior and sides would help define them against her human hair.  Having a stripe on the tail might work...but honestly, probably wouldn't fit quite right?   Perhaps a accessory could?  The tail seems a bit short, so there isn't much real estate to work with.


Thoughts on out-of-combat music:  Usually it works alright or is nice.  That said, it sometimes gets overplayed.  For example, the music at the military camp.  It is intense, which initially works well during the opening scene of coming upon it - but it keeps going, even though the circumstances don't call for excitement anymore.   Transitioning to something less bombastic would help align the player with the actual mood.

Question:  after delivering Ina, I was given a two-week deadline.  Is it genuine? 

I want to build more rapport with Samantha and friends, but not sure whether there would be consequences.  Already wrapped up the Vila, so I can't proceed further with the quest.

This might count as a GUI thing, if stuff like a quest log is implemented.

Found a error.  This was with a character who charged the boss during the slaver battle.


[code]

I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:

  File "game/dawncode/adventures/adventure_framework.rpy", line 36, in script call

    call expression adventureArea.specialEvents[str(adventure_current_step)]

  File "game/dawncode/areas/severn_floodplains/special_events/severn_slaver_encounter.rpy", line 113, in script

    $ addNPC("partner.actorID")

  File "game/dawncode/areas/severn_floodplains/special_events/severn_slaver_encounter.rpy", line 113, in <module>

    $ addNPC("partner.actorID")

  File "game/dawncode/functions.rpy", line 1272, in addNPC

    renpy.show_screen("npc_screen")

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1286, in execute

    screen npc_screen():

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1286, in execute

    screen npc_screen():

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1292, in execute

    if len(npcList) == 2:

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1295, in execute

    if not npcList[1].art:

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1295, in <module>

    if not npcList[1].art:

AttributeError: 'NoneType' object has no attribute 'art'

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:

  File "game/dawncode/adventures/adventure_framework.rpy", line 36, in script call

    call expression adventureArea.specialEvents[str(adventure_current_step)]

  File "game/dawncode/areas/severn_floodplains/special_events/severn_slaver_encounter.rpy", line 113, in script

    $ addNPC("partner.actorID")

  File "renpy/ast.py", line 1131, in execute

    renpy.python.py_exec_bytecode(self.code.bytecode, self.hide, store=self.store)

  File "renpy/python.py", line 1049, in py_exec_bytecode

    exec(bytecode, globals, locals)

  File "game/dawncode/areas/severn_floodplains/special_events/severn_slaver_encounter.rpy", line 113, in <module>

    $ addNPC("partner.actorID")

  File "game/dawncode/functions.rpy", line 1272, in addNPC

    renpy.show_screen("npc_screen")

  File "renpy/display/screen.py", line 1218, in show_screen

    sls.add(_layer, d, _tag, zorder=_zorder, transient=_transient, keep_st=True, name=name)

  File "renpy/display/core.py", line 1132, in add

    if not self.hide_or_replace(layer, remove_index, "replaced"):

  File "renpy/display/core.py", line 1191, in hide_or_replace

    if not oldsle.displayable._handles_event(prefix):

  File "renpy/display/screen.py", line 500, in _handles_event

    self.update()

  File "renpy/display/screen.py", line 653, in update

    self.screen.function(**self.scope)

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1286, in execute

    screen npc_screen():

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1286, in execute

    screen npc_screen():

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1292, in execute

    if len(npcList) == 2:

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1295, in execute

    if not npcList[1].art:

  File "game/dawncode/bars.rpy", line 1295, in <module>

    if not npcList[1].art:

AttributeError: 'NoneType' object has no attribute 'art'

Windows-10-10.0.19041 AMD64

Ren'Py 7.5.1.22070801

Divine Dawn 0.21e

Sat Oct  1 17:02:17 2022

[/code]

If you make dedicated panels for enemy info and such, there is a detail that I would like:  The order and initiative of battle participants.  That would make it easier to know whether healing spells would "reach" the target in time, and maybe allow for some battles to be designed around the speed of particular enemy actions.

Feel bit of a doofus about missing the information options in the general menu area.  The detail about enabling/disabling ally abilities is good to know, and should help with avoiding some disasters.

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Thoughts so far...

I enjoy the overall aesthetic of the ladies.  Music-wise, the combat music reminds me of Ys and Lufia II, which is quite a nice thing.

Where the writing is concerned, it isn't boring and the interplay between the protagonist and company is much appreciated.  So far I haven't encountered much in the way of spelling errors, and dialogue seems natural enough.

When it comes to the trait system, I feel the threat-altering traits are kinda bad.  You can't switch off the threat alterations, which makes some partners more problematic.  Further, you can buy both branches of alteration - they should be mutually exclusive if they are designed to lock-in.   My personal preference would be the threat traits to add instant modes to the protagonist that can be switched on/off.  That would allow the player to tailor their threat level to a situation.

Aside from the that, I don't know how to view purchased traits.  If there is a way to review that stuff, I haven't found it yet.


In combat, it would be nice if there is an indicator for how much mastery progress remains for a skill.  That way, I can use safe lulls in combat for optimal learning.


When fighting the ladies, the status effects can cover their battle portrait.  For example, Samantha having one...in her mouth.  While amusing, it might be a good idea to have a dedicated status area for enemies.


When selecting allies, it would be nice for Trust and Affection to be displayed.  Right now, I have to visit them to see what I do (not) have. Something like "1/4" to indicate progress to the next event would be helpful.

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Thoughts and issues as I try the demo:


#1 - Enemies can enter the gear and wall tiles, while the player can't.


#2:  It isn't clear what benefits there are between capturing or releasing cultists when you first meet them.  Having a brief tutorial on that would be nice.  Maybe mix in the bunny's protagonist's thoughts, so we can get to know her.  Seems like they are "keys" for certain salacious objects?

#3:  When slime fragments combine and then stand to the right of a lore tablet, their name comes up.  So we have both "Slime" and "Slime Fragment", both popping up at once.


#4:  It feels like the AI for enemies can break, leaving them stuck in place.  For example, a slime being stuck behind the visual aspect of a column, or the golem being inside a wall.


#5:  Slight quibble with the Tentacle Trap lore entry:  "weary" This means being tired - say, from being manhandled by such traps.  Unfortunately in this case, "wary" is the correct word when considering the context.'


#6:  Sometimes, the spacebar action command doesn't work.  This most notably impacts combat, since I can't attack.


#7:  The music is solid, and I like the overall aesthetic. 


#8:  I wish there was a way to let the protagonist get boinked without getting punished.   For example, maybe "lock picking" the mimic chests by responding to carnal commands?

Thoughts on the money search:  As currently implemented, not very fun.  At times the placement makes sense, such as in a vending machine's return slot - but most of the time, the coinage encourages mindless clicking.

My suggestion on the matter:  Condense the coins into four or five areas per screen, and add a riddle system.  EG:  "A rounded box that contains a golden treasure." (egg),  or "Pop goes the weasel!" (icecream truck), and so on.  

True that.  However, it feels kinda stifling that you have to do very specific things in order to progress.  Considering that the game seems to be semi-open, I think having two or three options for advancing in each area would be nice.

More thoughts.


Opinion:  If you speak to Edwin about Festival Day, you are locked out of going with the Young Merchant.  Edwin should confirm whether Aura wants to go with him.  Aside from that, I wanted to win his support but still be able to go down the perverse path.


Opinion:  The forest bandits are too OP with their bombs.  Namely, they can spam them as many times they wish, not offering respite.  I think they should receive the Exhaustion status after a toss.  This offers Aura a chance to turn things around.


Opinion:  It would be a nice QOL feature if "opportunities" are registered as a psuedo-quest.  For example, pleasuring the cultist in prison would be an opportunity, as would giving meat to the Boar Hut cook, or learning Rampage from the duelist.  The information page could list how many resources and stats are required, and what Aura has.


Opinion:  The special objectives for making enemies easier, is a good twist.  I have noticed the presence of cooking pots in the Forest Bandit hideout.  This made me think "If only I can feed them a little something..."  Perhaps the addition of poisonous shrooms?  Human groups who occupy the same map as a tainted pot could be struck with poison.   In a similar vein, the wine barrel by the Bandit Leader might offer an opportunity.  Maybe the boss poisoned the group of dead cultists - and Aura can collect his stash of powerful poison to feed into the barrel?  I am thinking that all poisons only last the day when used.


Opinion:  The Blessed Water doesn't feel useful, only reducing corruption by a point.  Giving it more utility would compensate for the rareness and cost.  If you step on a curse trap or in the cursed state, maybe the potion can be used to cancel or reduce the effect.  EG:  Stage II curse is reduced to Stage I, also removing corruption down to that level.  This should allow the Blessed Water to stay relevant throughout the game.

An important issue.

Oversight:  If you fail to meet HP requirements for a lewd action while being under cursed status, you will not be able to do anything.  One such example is the painter in Riverflow.

More thoughts.


Oversight:  If you unlock a h-scene in the NG+ room, you won't be able to receive hints for getting that scene during the regular game.  I had previously beaten the Riverflow flowers, but can't figure out what is needed to kiss John during my latest run.  Knowing how to unlock scenes is important for building up lewdness.


Opinion:  It is very easy to miss Charlotte's prison scene.   It might be a good idea to make it so that she goes drinking twice - once, so the player gets to know her, then a second time to get thrown into the slammer.  Once released from prison, Charlotte would teach the Fire spell. 


Aside from that, Charlotte probably should be aware of the lurid deal and the result, considering the position of her cell.


Opinion:  The NG+ room asked for suggestions, I am guessing for new features in the room?  A few come to mind for me.


Bookshelf.  Formerly Aura's most loyal friend.

1A:   If you have books in your inventory after ending the game, you can add them to the shelf.  Each book costs points to place onto the shelf.  Added books can be set to read status - but it costs 1 point for each level of progression into a book.  Maxed books don't cost resources to acquire when encountered, and time does not advance when read.


2:  Edwin (poverty).  Using his connections, he can ensure shops treat Aura better.  As he becomes more prosperous, he lends greater aid to his friend.

2A:  Edwin, 5 points (struggling)   - Merchants will always have limited items in stock.  However, they charge a premium of 20% + # of Days, on top of regular pricing.  When at 1 or more stock, the premium isn't applied.

2B:  Edwin, 10 points (middle-class) - Each week, shops will add +1 to the stock of every limited item available in the store.  Blessed Water, Bombs, Apples, Vitality Potions, ect.

2C:  Edwin, 30 points (rich) - The smithy job and sword sharpening services are maxed, as if you invested every piece of obtainable Star Metal.  You can still turn in Star Metal for money and story purposes.


3:  Aura.  She determines how many stats are needed for learning abilities and the cost of resource harvesting.  Learning will still cost resources, such as gold and the like.

3A:  Aura (fashionable) - Generic stat gates for learning abilities are at 100%.

3B:  Aura, 10 points (isekai)  - Generic stat gates for learning abilities is halved. Resource points with multiple harvests only costs the most expensive to fully exploit.

3C:  Aura, 20 points (glasses)  - Generic stat gates are ignored for learning abilities.  Resource points with multiple harvests only costs the cheapest harvest to fully exploit.


Alicia now makes things a little easier for Aura...of course, this is to incentivize her fall into disgrace.

4A - Alicia 1 - 10 points.  (Wrath).  During battle, corruption points form an extra pool to initially fuel martial and magic techniques.  Using that pool of corruption won't permanently remove it, as it is fully replenished after combat.

4B - Alicia 2 - 20 points (Envy)  A curse that drains Aura's abilities will instead be eaten, increasing her stats.  However, curses add corruption double to the stat bonus.

4C - Alicia 3 - 30 points  (Pride)  Upon achieving Level 1 to Level 3 from cursed status, Aura's stats are boosted.  +10%, +20%, and +30% respectively.  The spiritual harm still applies, such as lewdness and soul break.

I figured out what is going on.  Waterskin shrinks Aura's MP cap, rather than just removing MP.   Figures that I would miss that detail.

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Went ahead and purchased the game.  The developer notes made me feel confident that the game won't become vaporware.


Edit:  Strangely, on one NG+ I lost the ability to remove the collar, but also kept the Zodiac skills.  I think what happened is that I opted to do the Intro on this NG+.  If I skipped, collar removal remained.

When I lost MP, I had a full bar and the day just began.  Needed to turn off the Waterskin so that I can challenge a duelist. 

Didn't expect retention of the spell, since Aura has to go back to the real world.   Thought she lost her magic there.   But if magic is retained, it means one of two things:

A - her isekai self becomes a mannequin of sorts, while Aura is checked out.  That raises possibilities, such a ne'er do well playing with it.
B - Aura being moist in bed, for decidedly unsexy reasons.

Some stuff.


Bug:  While pleasuring the prisoner in the guard cell, the early sound effects gets a bit...stuttery?  Skippy?  Choppy.  Kinda distracting and painful.  Other sounds in the scene aren't affected, I am guessing a particular sound effect wasn't built right.


Oversight:  Turning off Waterskin deducts MP.  Also, the enhancement is retained between days.

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Various observations and thoughts on the game.


Oversight: While talking to Charlotte in the guild house, Aura's standing picture should be set to the opposite wing.  This is so that emoticons can be clearly seen.

Oversight:  The standing picture can cover up Arwin and Aura in his mansion.

Oversight:  You can get the maid job from Arwin before finishing Riverflow.  This breaks continuity, since Aura refers to the flowers before she encountered them.

Oversight:  The book "luck is a skill", is considered a key item - but other books go into the general tab.


Bug:  After beating the Riverflow plants and completing the H-scene, the apology segments played twice.  I think I might have moved too quickly after the dialogue tried to finish?


Opinion:  When Charlotte is at the bar, her dialogue uses the word "hick".  I think the intended word is "hic", because that is typically used to indicate a hiccup.  A hick is a type of redneck/countryside person.  I think that *hic*, would be the best way to communicate her status. The "*", is useful for seperating action from words in the dialogue box in my opinion.

EG:  "Cooooommmee on...drink, *hic*, with meeeee!"


Opinion:  The prison guard should tell Aura it is okay to enter the cell after Julius gives permission.

Opinion:  Having more tabs in inventory might be helpful for organization.  Consumables, Books, Materials, and Key Items.

Opinion:  Materials are a bit problematic, in that it can be hard to tell which shops they are compatible with.  Giving their names color-coding and dedicated icons might help.  Red Anvil for the Forge, Blue Potion for Alchemy, and a Yellow Sphere for hybrids?  I originally wasn't going to suggest icons, but color-blind folks might appreciate shapes.


Opinion:  It would be good if the HP indicators included a number for their maximum value.  Using the Vitality Potion optimally requires knowing when to spend it.

Opinion:  Regarding the smithy, it isn't clear whether there is an hard cap on upgrades.  The Star Metal dialogue implies that there is a raisable cap, but it isn't clear from a gameplay standpoint.  I am holding back on upgrades due to uncertainty.

Opinion: the music is a bit on the generic side.  IIRC, RPGMaker has settings that can alter the properties of sound.  That might be sufficient for alleviating the stock effects.

Opinion:  Bosses feel too strong right now.  It feels like that taking off the collar is a must for victory, rather than a path of least resistance.


Opinion:  Apples in combat feel useless when solo, since Aura is apt to lose the gains immediately.  I think it would be better if battle items were a free action, but using them would lock a character from using items for a number of turns.  That amount of time could be based on the power level of items - an apple disabling the current turn, a basic potion the next turn, ect.

Opinion:  While in the mental space, it would be nice if there was an onscreen indicator of corruption, happiness, ect.  Maybe the crystals can glow when the player can afford an available action in their respective room?

Opinion:  I noticed that the text for a day's time consists of scribblings.  That is kinda odd for Aura's character.  I think it would be neat if the text for that, menues, and Aura's dialog font starts out elegant - but increasingly resembles Comic Sans as she loses her reasoned self.

Opinion:  A bit of dialogue for the magic shop feels odd.  Specifically "absolving..." when selecting a course.  That word basically means "free", "release", "redemption", and so forth.  This isn't a word typically used to describe education.

Commentary:  I like how some encounters are given a puzzle-esque element, such as the various fighting experts having a gimmick.

Commentary:  It is good that the characters have personality.  Aura's arrogance and false humility is much appreciated.

Commentary:  The detailed exploration dialogue goes a long way towards establishing Aura's mindset. 

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More issues, PC edition.


A:  After getting enough piranha, I slept and visited Merah.  It feels like some dialogue should have been triggered, and the game does an autosave.  Something wacky there, I think?


B1:  If you have a wood barrier at full health during tower defense, you can still spend wood...to no effect.  The option shouldn't be available, I feel.

B2:  After finishing a round of tower defense, it is easy to accidentally click a button.  I accidentally quit the mini-game, proceeded to a different round, or spent wood.  Having a delay or requiring the player to "shake" the cursor after a round would help prevent accidental clicks.


B3:  A QOL feature for Tower Defense would be to add a potion button between phases.  Provided you haven't imbibed any potions for the day, the player should be able to drink one.


C:  When looking at the recipe list for alchemy, the rope of dispelling is listed under "How to fix rocks".  The entry should read "Binding for Dummies", instead.


D:  It can be hard to tell if some activities require doing after you have passed certain points.  For example, is there a benefit in further donations to the church, doing blackjack with Crystal after being serviced, giving Naamu multiple gems, ect